As graduation approaches and seniors weigh their options, most conversations seem to revolve around one thing: college. But there’s another path gaining momentum–working for border patrol.
Immigration and Customs Enforcement (affectionately known as ICE by some) is the subject of some very mean words as of late: “murderers”, “evil”, “fascist”, and other silly things. But what may escape your mind when you hear those nasty slogans is that those officers are actually getting paid a lot of money to do this stuff.
A job with ICE has a signing bonus of up to $50,000–around one dollar per three spaces in immigrant torture facilities–along with salaries going into six figures. Additional benefits include medical care and the repayment of student loan debts. All that while eating meals coming out of your employer’s pocket.
ICE training doesn’t sacrifice your educational opportunities, either: in the official ICE podcast (which exists) deportation officer Christian Rodriguez–who kidnaps men, women, and children for a job–emphasizes the academic rigor of an ICE education.
If you’re uncertain–about your life after high school, about if you should ask a girl out, about if you should ask a boy out, about whether your parents love you even if you’re gay (I don’t think they do), about if there is a God and if you are just a joke to him, about why you’re reading this article–join ICE.
All you have to do is not care.
The arguments made above were jokes: this being an opinion piece I feel it is important to clarify as much. To argue that violence against fellow human beings can be justified by the compensation received is ridiculous, and fortunately nobody falls for this. When they talk about ICE, that is.
Every year, at the North Hollywood College Career & Resource Fair, you can find the Army, Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps standing at the ready with their pull-up bar to gain attention and sign-up sheet to progress attention into recruitment.
If a student should accept their offer, which is in appearance very similar to that of ICE–a decent education, a stable job, a dependable place–they will find an experience that is in reality exactly like being in ICE.
In the United States, there is an outrage (albeit diminishing by the day) against ICE’s flagrant disregard for the standards of human rights and legal requirements of conduct; for the military this is a weekly event.
Last week, the United States and Israel launched a joint attack on the Islamic Republic of Iran; within hours, a girl’s school in the eastern city of Minab was hit by an air strike that state media reports killed over 140 and injured more than 70. In the preceding month the US coast guard had turned away oil tankers delivering fuel to Cuba during a devastating energy shortage, and the Marine strike force in the Caribbean had killed 16 as a wrongful death lawsuit alleges targeting of vessels unaffiliated with narcotics. Of course, this will not be mentioned by a recruiter.
In understanding why a recruiter will not talk about committing crimes against humanity, it is almost irrelevant–but a little funny–to look at the lives these recruiters lead. A recruiter can be positioned in any number of cushy jobs all around the country, going between schools, community centers, and offices. In none of these places will they encounter warfare, nor will they suffer from poverty: they receive the wages of their rank, plus minor bonuses for recruitment, without any of the dirty work.
It’s unsurprising, then, that they are concerned about their jobs going away. As a 2024 publication by National Defense University Press titled “Stop Talking to Yourself: Military Recruiting in the Modern Age” illustrates, military officials are deeply troubled by a rising access to what the article calls misinformation about the realities of military employment and military life. The piece ultimately decides that a reassessment of recruiting strategies towards gen-Z must:
“highlight the benefits of military service that matter most to them [young people], such as financial security and education and portraying the military as a route to personal and professional growth, while subtly addressing their concerns about injury, stress, and military life (emphasis added)”
Said in a different way, the whole truth–that being in the military is violent, that killing weighs on your conscience–cannot be allowed into the conversation, and recruitment should dance around it. Instead, recruiters are told to keep the positives as the only variable in discussion.
So if you go talk to a recruiter about enlisting, and they sell you on a bright future in their service, think a little bit more critically. If you have half a heart, you might be surprised at what the military actually has to offer.
PS. Did you know you cannot promote disruption of school activities, nor violence in surrounding communities, nor advocate for the breaking of any law, in a school newspaper? You might not believe it, because you can encourage students to abandon their future as a functional member of society and become a hired gun for Donald Trump and face no repercussions.
