Is it the thought that counts or the price you pay that determines the love you have for your mother? Mother’s Day has feminist and environmentalist roots, yet it’s turned into a commercialized holiday based on lathering your mother in gifts.
Mother’s Day didn’t begin as a shopping spree. According to the Smithsonian American Women’s History Museum, Mother’s Day can be largely accredited to Anna Jarvis, who honored her mother Ann Maria Reeves Jarvis’ contribution to their community. Ann Maria created “Mothers’ Work Clubs” in which women worked to improve sanitation and reduce child mortality. The holiday was rooted in care, service, and genuine appreciation for one’s community—not material possessions.
When Anna established the second Sunday in May as national Mother’s Day, she made her vision direct: it would be celebrated by writing heartfelt letters to one’s mother. However, over time, these personalized letters became store-bought, pre-printed cards and expensive gifts—something Anna openly criticized. She believed the holiday lost the sincerity it was meant to celebrate.
The shift is hard to ignore today. Instead of asking how we can show appreciation, many of us immediately jump to: “what should I buy?”
The numbers reflect this mindset. According to the National Retail Federation, annual average Mother’s day spending is only surpassed by the winter holidays with the average budget an adult plans to spend on gifts is $259.04. Flowers, greeting cards, and outings top the list of potential gifts. However with all the spending, an important question gets lost: are these gifts actually meaningful or just expected?
This pressure is especially obvious for teenagers. To put it simply, teens are broke. Meaning, buying a gift often requires asking parents—sometimes even their mothers—for money. Thus, mothers often get a gift that they indirectly paid for—taking away from its meaning. Then when siblings are involved, it can quickly turn into a competition of who can give the “best” gift.
That competition can overshadow what matters. Instead of thinking about what their mothers would truly appreciate, people worry about cost, comparison, or convenience. Sometimes, that leads to gifts that miss the mark—such as cleaning supplies. Imagine, one day a year to get something you really desire, yet you’re given something for chores—not to mention the subtle gender expectations. It comes from a place of love, but the impact isn’t always the same.
I realized this myself last Mother’s Day. I bought my mom a $20 lotion. It was my only idea and I believed the price would make up for the lack of thought. However, when I was wrapping it, I noticed my little brother crafting a homemade card. My little brother’s card had more thought and love embedded into the gift than my rather expensive lotion.
It wasn’t the fact he spent more money, nor the size that made the gift. It was the fact he created it without fear of competition, a limited budget, or worries about whether his gift was “good enough.” He simply wanted to create a symbol of his love for our mom. My mom appreciated my gift, but my little brother’s card was the one that brought her to tears.
That moment made it clear—-it wasn’t the cost, the size, or even the usefulness of the gift that mattered. It was the intention behind it.
It’s not the cost of the gift, it’s the love. Mother’s Day isn’t supposed to be a test of how much you can spend, it’s a chance to reflect the care our mothers show us everyday. Whether the gift is a long hug or expensive jewelry, remember the symbolism of it—your love for your mom.
